I put on my togs, a pair of shorts actually.
Bernie was in boxer shorts.
The steam rose from the thermal spring water.
It was packed with local and foreign tourists.
‘You fat fuck.’
Takes one to know one.
Bernhard had a gut. Didn’t we all have at our age?
‘Doctors are saying men our age who do sit ups have a higher chance of a hernia than younger men.’
I just don’t get it, I said.
The first thing the nazis say is that I’ve got a fat gut and big bottom.
‘Usually it’s the junkies, mentally ill, and the ill informed who say that. The junkies are wafer slim, usually from a lack of diet.’
Well it’s usually the mentally unhinged who like to comment about my Rubenesque bum.
‘They want to fuck it,’ said Bernie, ‘why else would they be looking at it?’
We lived in an age of cheap shots, no denying that.
‘It’s called the Trump Rear End Syndrome.’
Give me a comfortable butt to sit on that a vegan skin and bones.
Hasn’t the world become shallow?
‘I worked hard for this gut,’ said Bernhard, who was splashing around under the hot water, ‘so if anyone says I should wear it off, the cunts can pay me first, or shut the fuck up.’
It’s almost like fat people are cripples.
‘They are usually more brainy than the nazi health freaks, more relaxed, and are comfortable in their skin.’
And they pick up the hot chicks. We all know women hate jocks or wannabe jocks.
‘The age of liberalism has dumbed down the population.’
Besides, I said, running with this theme, fat chicks fuck better.
‘People should just mind their fucking business and let Trump get on with his job.’
I totally agreed. And those two hot Indonesians in their almost transparent red bikinis seemed to agree fat guys were more interesting.
Here’s to fatness, I said to Bernhard as I swam up to them. They were sisters and staying in the same bungalows as ours.
‘We love your masculine bodies,’ said one of the girls.
See what I mean? We aren’t a spent force yet nor will be give up the fight and be ridiculed by fucking bullies.
Fat Bottom Boys stand up and be united. You are not alone.
I wasn’t finished.
Another deranged alcoholic I met around the traps said how could fuck with my big gut.
‘The poor girls’ he said, while his mate nodded in agreement and called me a fat fuck just to rub it in.
Now I can ride and walk like the best of them.
‘Prove it,’ said the Javanese, who were apparently twins, who had the biggest tits and ass to die for.
Things were really looking up. It was time to work out the lard.
‘It’s currency that counts in this part of the world.’
Now I have nothing against the fitness freaks, but sometimes it’s time to embrace being on the heavy side. It’s not our fault, it really isn’t.
‘That’s it,’ said Bernie, ‘they try and make you feel guilty for being yourself, they are Nazis to a tee and must be treated with suspicion at aIl time.’
I’m sure Trump feels the same way, and it’s making those liberals very uncomfortable because he doesn’t give a flying fuck.
‘Now you saying something,’ said Bernard, ‘you really had something to say today.’
And if I didn’t I wouldn’t give a flying fuck. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, right?
The Javanese were looking at me all starry eyed. Nothing better than having a receptive audience.
We lay around in the pool for a few more hours, just shooting the shit with two pretty Javanese.
Power to the fat people, we are a formidable force.
‘And highly intelligent too,’ said Bernie, who was getting frisky and rubbing the flat bellies of the twins.
I think we have a sleaze bag in the midst.