‘You got it all wrong.’
How, I asked my Kiwi mate. We have known each other for a decades. He’s the only guy I’ve bothered to keep in contact with.
‘I won’t tell anyone that you pay me.’
I’ve been known to pay for friendship.
But Bernie cut in, ‘ you are trying to write a thriller when you should be writing from your heart.’
Stephen King said he was not plot driven.
‘And he didn’t like to be classified,’ said Bernhard, who had a kindle reader with thousands of books he’s already ready , ‘he said he had a voice, and if it was a thriller, a horror, or a supernatural voice, so be it, but he hoped that people read him for his ‘voice’ and not the horror tag associated with his books.’
Firti refilled our coffee. Hooters was our base. We were discussing travel fiction writing and Bernie felt the reason I didn’t get many sales was ‘that you confuse the fuck out of your readers. Just let your voice speak, and if they don’t like what you write, then fuck them.’
Bernie branded me the ‘professional’ bum. Now I’m just the bum.
‘Don’t know how you do it,’ he said, as he took a sip of his coffee.
‘All the traveling you do.’
Easy, I said, just a matter of willing, saying, I still need a few more chapters, so that will be another five months overseas.
I also don’t pay for a mortgage each week.
I live simply. My only vice is smoking. So I could be overseas longer if I didn’t smoke.
‘They are one buck a cig now.’
I only paid one buck for a packet of duty free cigarettes in Johor, in Malaysia.
‘It’s so wrong.’
It’s wrong that governments can make money out of thin air. If Midas was still around it would be in the form of Western governments.
As it transpired, Javina, the almost transparent blue bikini wearing goddess owned Hooters.
‘And I was a bar girl before that.’ She had joined us for a coffee. Since meeting her at the beach the other day, near the people’s smuggling launch off site, she had kinda adopted us.
‘More like keeping you out of trouble,’ she said, as she jiggled a little to show off her bouncing merchandise. ‘I also called up my cousin, he’s head of immigration, posing as a fisherman, and told him you might be needing a hand.’
We were way out of depth.
‘I could see that,’ said Javina, ‘that’s what quick phone calls are for. Now if I find that you both work for the CIA, then I’ll have to fuck you both senseless.’
Was that a threat?
‘Not at all dear,’ she said, taking in us both with her dark almond shaped eyes, two dirty old men on the wrong side of fifty, ‘ lets just say that I was thinking aloud.’
A thought crossed my mind.
‘You don’t even own that warung down by the beach, you were just renting it out for the day so that you could spy on us.’
She played with long silky hair and gave me a mocking look.
‘You have been reading too many spy novels. That warung is mine.’
‘Put your foot in it now didn’t you asswipe.’
‘It makes for a change, Bernie, it’s normally you.’
Adul and Fitri came over and both put their arms around their aunty.
The three of them represented the fecundity of Java, with it’s rich volcanic soils and big titted wanitas.
‘You do have a way with words, Vanya,’ said Javina, ‘now would you like to come over here and join us for a collective hug.’
I nearly spat out my coffee.
‘And all over me, asswipe.’ I could see Bernie was about to get up and join in the hugging session.
‘I have a little secret to share,’ said Javina, who stood up and put her arms around her two adopted dirty old me, making sure her pendulous boobs in her skimpy blue bikini top were rubbing against our shoulders. ‘They aren’t my biological nieces,’ she added, ‘ we use to work together at Gang Dolly in Surabaya.’
Well fuck a duck.
‘Not on my shift,’ said Adul, ‘and better you fuck something else,’ chimed in Fitri.
They were the double D twins.
‘What is it with your fixation on….’
I kicked Bernhard in the shins, ‘they have lovely smiles too,’ I said. ‘So after the President shut down the street of desire, you and the twins moved here to open up a softer version of Gang Dolly.’
She smiled at me that said, ‘you know a thing or two for a dumb white fellow with nicotine stained teeth.’
I really had to take that as a compliment. I was rewarded with a hug.
‘More like a bear hug,’ said Bernie, who dragged me outside. He had a proposition.
I quickly turned around at my dream girls and silently worded my intentions, ‘We’ll be back.’
‘We’ll be waiting for you,’ the three big breasted girls said, in unison, then they blew me a kiss.
‘And what did you get cunt,’ I said to Bernhard, ‘ didley fucking shit.’
‘More of where they come from, jackass.’
We both jumped in the car and headed due west.
‘Gang Dolly, hay?’
It might be officially closed, said Bernie, ‘but I bet if we sniff around, you’ll still find the same decadence.’